From: Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 15:35:06 EDT Subject: Post: Do what you have to do.... "Toss me that blanket, Chuin?" asked Estela, from atop Moonwind. He threw it to her. "Why?" She swung it around her shoulders, and tied a knot in the front, then arananged it to cover at least some of the telltale Alarin clothing. "Better?" "Wouldn't recognize you if I didn't know...and Wataru and I are fairly normal looking. But what about Bubbles?" "Wataru, did the guys you took out mention Bubbles?" "No..." "Then they don't know about her yet... she IS pretty obvious." "Why everyone look at Yabsajubru?" asked the little pink dragon, blinking at them. "Never mind," replied the three humans, in unison. Chuin gave Wataru a boost into the saddle of his horse, then mounted his own. Bubbles trotted up to stand beside Estela's Moonwind... "Wait," said Wataru. Estela wheeled her horse around to face him. "What?" "We should bury those men I killed. And... they burned Kaika, you know, the village where the Green Dragon was." "What?" she whispered, shocked. "Burned? Kaika?" asked Chuin. "Why?" "Because of me. Because I stayed there... or because it was where I was last known to be. Or simply because they wanted to destroy something... and they were in Kaika's area...because of me." Her eyes were distant and full of pain; she seemed to be in shock. "Estela... you couldn't have known they would..." began Chuin. She held up a hand to stop him, staring in Kaika's direction, though it was too far to make out even whatever smoke might still be rising. She could see it though, in a way. The shells of buildings, dying flames, burnt bodies, not so much seeing them as feeling the shape. She shut her eyes, not wanting to see, but it did nothing to cut off the sight. *Kaika burned because of me. why do I have to see this? why can I still see this?* She paused, and then realized. *my power. this is part of it. go away!* She screamed mentally at it, not knowing how to make it stop. *turn off! go away!! STOP!!!* It did, finally. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes to meet those of her companions. "Kaika burned because of me, regardless of whether I knew it would happen or not. That destruction, those deaths, I'm responsible for them. And I hate that. I don't want deaths on my hands, I don't like killings, wars.... they deserve a decent burial, Wataru, you're right." She hung her head. "But we can't give them one." "What? Why not?" he asked. "Because it means two more days, at least, in this area. We still would lose maybe one if we just buried the four soldiers. Their army --or armies-- are surely still in the area, and we can't just sit here and wait to be found. I --and you too, actually-- were brought to this world for the purpose of saving it. We can't let ourselves get killed just to bury people who are already dead." Her voice was choked, but the tone of it was hard and cold. "How can you say that? How can you act like those deaths don't matter? Don't you care?!" asked Chuin, angrily. "Should bury, right?" asked Bubbles. "That what humans do when die. Yabsajbru learn from Abmik. We dug hole so they rest, right?" "That's what we SHOULD do!" insisted Chuin, "But SHE doesn't seem to care!" "Don't ever, ever say that to me again, Chuin," she answered, softly, threatening. "Never acuse me of not caring. The pain of those deaths is with me, Chuin, the wieght of them. But even though I hate even thinking this way, wieghing deaths as if they were mere pebbles on a scale... the world is more important than any one village's dead. We have to think that way, act on that... but we also have to remember that those people died for us, for our cause. When we find a temple of the Lady of Waters I'll have them send someone to take care of it, but for now there's nothing we can do about it. We have to keep moving, or we're all dead and the world is lost. I'll risk my life if need be... but I can't afford to risk it on things like this." She swallowed hard against the tightness in her throat, blinked to keep back tears. "I still don't feel right not burying them." said Wataru, and Chuin and Bubbles nodded in agreement. "Neither do I. But since you're sworn as my Companions, we're ALL here to save the world now. We'll do what we have to do." She started to wheel Moonwind around. "Well, we can spare an hour or two at least to get rid of these bodies somehow. Leaving them lying around will certainly show that we were here, let alone the fire we had. I say let's shove them into the cave at least and take some of their equipment and money. They ARE dead and they won't need their stuff anymore." "Wataru!" she gasped, scandalized. "How can... how can you even suggest something like that?!" "Yabsajubru no think Abmik like," added Bubbles. Chuin just stared. "We need it more than they do, don't we?" "At the moment, not enough to stoop to that. Besides, they already know we're in the area, they'll wonder when their scouts or whatever they were don't show up, Kaika's burned already, and with your injuries we may NOT be able to afford two hours. We may have to leave them unburied --like I said, we'll do what we have to do-- but we sure as fucking hell aren't going to go back to rob them!" Bubbles blinked at the curse. "How you have sex with bad place?" "What!?!" everyone asked at once. "Estela just say, 'We sure as having sex with bad place aren't going to go back to rob them.'" Bubbles quoted. "How you have sex with bad place?" Estela shook her head, almost laughing. "I'll explain swearing some other time, Bubbles." She kicked Moonwind into a trot, now not only in pain because of Kaika, but angry at Wataru as well. "Move out!" she snarled, not looking back to see if they followed. Chuin moved up to ride at her left, and Bubbles to trot at her right, leaving Wataru to trail in their wake.