Make your own free website on


Back to the character index.


Wonko the Sane is called "the Sane" for no other reason than he isn't. He's a lot more than a few cards short of a full deck, and he's happier that way. I saw the name in The Hitchhiker's Trilogy, and had to use it ^_^


Wonko was once a Dungeons & Dragonsesque Ranger known as Wade Walker. (Anglo-Saxon for "wandering forest traveler") He was rather proficient at what he did, too... that is, of course, until he suffered from a rather traumatic head injury.

Much to the dismay of his friends, the local Clierics could do nothing to reverse the condition. This didn't bother Wade, now self-title d Wonko, and he happily went off in search of "those little leathery things whats like to hurt people"...a.k.a., goblins.

Over time, he's gone up against dragons, hellspawn, undead, and, of course, lots and lots of goblins. He's also gotten around a lot - This is the 2nd or 3rd writing group he's been mentioned in, at least as a cameo. I just won't let him die ^_^


Wonko is never seen without his chain mail armor and trusty battleaxe. That and his unkept red hair and short beard add up to make him a very imposing person indeed.


The battleaxe has always been Wonko's weapon of choice, and the one he currently uses is expecially lethal - This magical blade can be thrown long distances with deadly accuracy, and it always returns to Wonko's hand, afterwards.

Method of Transportation:

Through some fluke, portals to and from hammerspace seem to always appear around Wonko when he's chasing something. For those of you unfamilliar with hammerspace, it's that strange reality from which misc. anime characters pull buckets of water, various large weapons, suits of armor, and, of course, large wooden mallets. I think it also has something to do with what happens to socks lost in the dryer.


Wonko became a running gag in my D&D games, and it just sort of transferred over to the RPG. What typically happens is...
1. A white flash of light is seen.
2. A goblin is seen running frantically, screaming "Wonko!Wonko!Wonko!Wonko!Wonko!Wonko!..."
3. Wonko is seen running after it, screaming his battlecry of "Goblin!Goblin!Goblin!Goblin!Goblin!..."
4. Both disappear in another white flash of light.
5. People look at each other in confusion, except for those who've seen this before, who just say, "Wonko."

This character is © by Aaron "Spiffy" Smith.